An Ode to the Holiday Season

Deep breath
The holiday season
How did it get here so fast it was just
Christmas and snow all that snow
First Thanksgiving
Gottagetta turkey a big one
The family yes the family how I
love gathering around the table the
happiness at being together the
holding hands the
thankful here we are
again
Try not to eat too much
Try not to think about
problemsissuesdifficultiesheart
breakcoldnessanxietydread
Remembering
I miss my mom I still miss my mom
Grandma’s dining room table the crystal
wine glasses and stuffed celery
The youngster’s table a wobbly card table
Will we ever all be together again or is this
But the living yes the living gather breathe
Thankful.
Then Advent
shopping decorating baking
meditating caroling birthday attending
praying airport contemplation
leteveryheartpreparehimroom
cleaning remembering missing wrapping
It’sAWonderfulLife WhiteChristmas
String the lights across the front porch
Hang the angels
Oh come oh come
Don’t eat too much
Emmanuel and rescue
remembering
I miss my stepmom Rosanne oh I miss her
The castle how cold the stone walls
but the cheer of the fire
the wild cheer in our hearts
Scout for greens, pinecones, prettyweeds
to make a wreath to try again
God can you make all things right again
Can you please make all things
right and bright
In the stores and online finding the perfect
the perfect to see the smile to make them
happy always
Waiting
Then Christmas Eve
the hushed holy
Mulled cider, candlelight, worship, guests,
cheesebreadeggnogcookiesfruitcake
Assemble tricycles castles racetracks
Remembering
I miss Grandpa how long will I miss him
the fireplace the
quiet talk the
timelessness
the best when the hay fell off the truck
the good friends over the years
Remembering when I believed
Hopeful
Then Christmas Day
the gifts the prayer,
the children yes mostly the children
This year they are 3, 4, 5 and 17
A young girl in 1575 England the castle
Happy happy
Wrapping paper strewn ribbons shiny
children excited shouting jumping about
Adults in chairs drinking coffee watching
Remembering the excitement
my dad I miss my dad this morning
Dinner play games read stories
Sing carols and happy birthday to Jesus
Jesus.
Then New Year’s
A loud party? Quiet dinner? Babysit?
Remembering
watching Times Square with my parents
drunken parties and kissing everyone
watching Times Square with my children
in bed by 11
dinners with friends
2011 really?
Where’s our rocket packs?
When will humans finally self-destruct?
Where’s my robot maid?
God what will this year bring?
Will I ever?
I miss you
Then January
cold dark sleep read quiet
Deep breath.